Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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