why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize