i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
