So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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