I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
