You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
