plz talk dirty to me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize