no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
