Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry titsfordick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

Fav 1 1294 1019
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

Fav 14 4556 922
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

Fav 37 1353 2730
share tweet
(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

Fav 11 3938 1115
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me

Fav 12 5153 1943
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

Fav 33 2054 5387
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

Fav 3 3066 1100
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.

Fav 0 671 621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.

Fav 0 156 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT