Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
