So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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