haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
