you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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