He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
