my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
