theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
