Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
