Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
