Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
