Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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