We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
