I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
