can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
