i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
