every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
