I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
