I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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