I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
