no, he came in my armpit
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
