Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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