would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
