Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
