fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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