why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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