just come out here and I will go home with you...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
