I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
