i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
