just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
