I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
