so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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