im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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