Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize