Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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