Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
