I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just forgot I was standing up.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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