officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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