She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
