why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
