he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
