Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
