I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
