woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
