at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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