i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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