pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
