I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
