Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize