i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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