dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
